As much as I would like to say that we should spend our time focused on the present, I believe that there is a lot that we can learn from reflecting on the past and where it has got us to this point. After all, we all have heard that quote by Robert Santayana,"Those who cannot remember that past are condemned to repeat it." I believe this is very true and as much as I am happy with the person I have become, I wish that my younger self could have had some advice to help her get through it. I recently just started my first year of college and walking into class the first day brought back thoughts of walking into to high school for the first time and what I wish I would've known then. If I could talk to that girl now, this is what I would've told her:
When you start your first day of high school, I want you to keep in mind that high school isn't always like in the movies and on TV. The things that you wish would happen probably won't and the things that you don't probably will. But remember to keep your head up and persevering no matter how much you want to sit and cry (which at times you will) and things will get better. No matter how much people talk it up, homecoming isn't as great as they make it out to be, but you will still have fun when you are with people who you can be yourself around. Speaking of being yourself, no one is worth changing who you are. Because even though you have your flaws (don't worry, we all do) you are wonderful and nothing you try to be could compare. When you join Yearbook, realize how lucky you are to be a part of it. You work will be something that you will be proud of and your closest friends will come from that club. When that girl is mean to you who you thought was your friend (you will know who I am talking about) stick up for yourself and don't let her make you think less of yourself. As much as you may not like how she treated you, having to go through that will prove something to yourself that you never realized before. Her best friend will also become yours, so whenever you get mad at her, think of the new friendship that you got out of the old one. Don't be afraid to go against the crowd and start your own path, people will respect you for your beliefs and you will too. Do not ever forget how lucky you are to have your family. They are you ultimate blessing. Finally,whenever you feel alone, or like you don't fit in, remember you could never be alone if you tried and not fitting in high school isn't thing in the world. Don't worry, no matter what, you will always be okay.
We cannot change the past, only learn from it. Themes in my letter to my younger self will always pop up in life, no matter how old I get. If I can ingrain the lessons in my memory now, hopefully I can spare myself some pain in the future. But we don't all need a letter to the past to bring things to light that we wish we would've known. We can just reflect, realize what we have been lucky enough to learn from all our experiences, and apply them to the future.
Friday, September 28, 2012
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Risk it All
We as humans risk a lot more of ourselves than we than we think we do. Everyday by getting out bed we are brave. Instead of sitting in bed all day, we go out an expose ourselves to the world through what we wear, what we say, and overall our actions in general. Although some people put themselves out there more than others, it is not any more easy or difficult on either end of the spectrum. We all risk something.
Of course that is a very small risk in the scheme of things. Some people risk their lives everyday they go to work. In countries with harsh regimes, people risk their freedom, their families, and their lives to speak out in hopes of a better tomorrow in which the government doesn't exist. But not all risks have to end in disaster in despair, but that doesn't mean its any less of a risk, sometimes it even more of one.
One of the biggest risks that we will take in our lives is also one of the most rewarding. That risk is love. Love can bring us the ultimate happiness, joy, and satisfaction. It can complete our lives. But on the other hand, it can break us into pieces when it ends, or if it never even begins. And yet despite the possible consequences, despite the fact that we all know that nothing lasts forever, that we know we only have a finite amount of time here on Earth, we love and risk it all just the same. That's brave. It's brave to know that there is terrible, painful, heartbreak possible, and make the leap as if there wasn't. It's brave to put your fate into someone else's hands and jump off a cliff not knowing if they will are willing to jump off that same cliff for you too. But we do it because we know that a life without that risk, without love, is a life that is empty and might as well as not have been lived at all.
So at the end of the day, don't be afraid to make that leap, don't be afraid to love. Instead, be brave and make the risk, because in some way even if we don't get what we at the time wanted or expected, it will be worth it all the same.
Of course that is a very small risk in the scheme of things. Some people risk their lives everyday they go to work. In countries with harsh regimes, people risk their freedom, their families, and their lives to speak out in hopes of a better tomorrow in which the government doesn't exist. But not all risks have to end in disaster in despair, but that doesn't mean its any less of a risk, sometimes it even more of one.
One of the biggest risks that we will take in our lives is also one of the most rewarding. That risk is love. Love can bring us the ultimate happiness, joy, and satisfaction. It can complete our lives. But on the other hand, it can break us into pieces when it ends, or if it never even begins. And yet despite the possible consequences, despite the fact that we all know that nothing lasts forever, that we know we only have a finite amount of time here on Earth, we love and risk it all just the same. That's brave. It's brave to know that there is terrible, painful, heartbreak possible, and make the leap as if there wasn't. It's brave to put your fate into someone else's hands and jump off a cliff not knowing if they will are willing to jump off that same cliff for you too. But we do it because we know that a life without that risk, without love, is a life that is empty and might as well as not have been lived at all.
So at the end of the day, don't be afraid to make that leap, don't be afraid to love. Instead, be brave and make the risk, because in some way even if we don't get what we at the time wanted or expected, it will be worth it all the same.
Sunday, September 23, 2012
Tis the Season to be 'Fall-y'
The seasons are ever-changing and ever representing of life and all it entails. Each season can represent a stage of life. Spring represents new life and our childhoods. It is full of color, happiness, and growth. Summer is a depiction of adolescence. It's heat is hard to bare, just like the problems of the teenager years, but it is full of fun and memories too. Fall represents those middle years, the grown up years. It's changing colors are similar to those changing situations in life, both being beautiful. Winter represents those elderly years. It can be sometimes seen as cold and barren, but its beauty is always treasured and remembered.
But of all those seasons, fall is my favorite. When I think of fall, I am taken back to my childhood with memories of jumping into piles of leaves, carving pumpkins, and going trick-or-treating. It seems like just yesterday that I was eating caramel apples and smelling apple pies. Although, it probably feels that way because I was doing that yesterday, as a celebration of the first day of fall. As much fun as it is to be a kid in Fall, it can be just as much to be an adult at that age. Now, I hand out candy, make the piles of leaves for the kids, and can actually be trusted to use the knife when making jack-o-lanterns.
One of my favorite parts of fall is the colors of the leaves changing. The colors of red, orange and yellow look are some of the most beautiful things that grace my vision in the fall months. They show how change, even if we don't want it, can fill our lives with beauty and joy.
So as we watch the transition of the seasons, and the transitions that we go through in our own lives, it is important to remember that each one, though different, brings something special to us and what it brings is usually beautiful.
But of all those seasons, fall is my favorite. When I think of fall, I am taken back to my childhood with memories of jumping into piles of leaves, carving pumpkins, and going trick-or-treating. It seems like just yesterday that I was eating caramel apples and smelling apple pies. Although, it probably feels that way because I was doing that yesterday, as a celebration of the first day of fall. As much fun as it is to be a kid in Fall, it can be just as much to be an adult at that age. Now, I hand out candy, make the piles of leaves for the kids, and can actually be trusted to use the knife when making jack-o-lanterns.
One of my favorite parts of fall is the colors of the leaves changing. The colors of red, orange and yellow look are some of the most beautiful things that grace my vision in the fall months. They show how change, even if we don't want it, can fill our lives with beauty and joy.
So as we watch the transition of the seasons, and the transitions that we go through in our own lives, it is important to remember that each one, though different, brings something special to us and what it brings is usually beautiful.
Saturday, September 15, 2012
A Worthwhile Journey
Frequently while growing up, I faced myself in the mirror and asked myself "who am I?"I longed, and still sometimes do, for a sense of a clear cut identity, of a sense of how I was different from everyone, but also of how I was the same. Both these questions came into play at different points of my life. The 'how I was the same' was at the beginning of my life until the end of my sophomore year of high school. The 'how I was different' became more important after that. In my quest of who to find out who I was I tried out many different identities, many similar to those people and characters that I longed to be like. This didn't get me very far though because after awhile, I tired of playing a role and I had to change, but never back to myself. Looking back on this, I realized I did this because as you grow up, you want people to like you and accept you. You didn't want the world to mock you for who you were. If you pretend to be someone else, and people don’t like you, you can blame it on who you pretended to be and change to someone else. But if you be yourself and people still don’t like you, you can’t blame it on an act, and you can’t change into a whole new person, because who you really are never truly goes away. I mean, you can only run so long from yourself before you catch up to yourself. I feared rejection based on who I was, which to me is the worst kind of rejection. At the end of that sophomore year though,I came to realize though, if you live your whole life through a lens that belongs to someone else, at the end of it all, you never truly lived your life. You can't let fear hold you back from living. You just have to be yourself.
So, after I came to this realization, I tried to find out who I was and how I came to be that way. After all, isn't there that saying that the journey is more important than the destination? Well, it's extremely true. I had to look at my life at face value and realize that all that had happened to me, those times that I loved, and those moments that I looked back in embarrassment at, had all formed me in who I was and will always be apart of who I will be. All the things I had been through, the ended friendships, the bullying, the times with my family, and every random moment in between have led me to this point. And finally, at the end of this journey of self-discovery, I found someone who I could be proud of. But I have to remember, this journey is continuous and will always be a part of me. We never stop growing.
At some point in every life, this is all a journey we have to take, whether we are aware we take it or not. Our lives are full of moments, many that we take for granted, many that we remember as horrible or sad, many that are full of beauty. But they all take us to who and where we are meant to be.
So, after I came to this realization, I tried to find out who I was and how I came to be that way. After all, isn't there that saying that the journey is more important than the destination? Well, it's extremely true. I had to look at my life at face value and realize that all that had happened to me, those times that I loved, and those moments that I looked back in embarrassment at, had all formed me in who I was and will always be apart of who I will be. All the things I had been through, the ended friendships, the bullying, the times with my family, and every random moment in between have led me to this point. And finally, at the end of this journey of self-discovery, I found someone who I could be proud of. But I have to remember, this journey is continuous and will always be a part of me. We never stop growing.
At some point in every life, this is all a journey we have to take, whether we are aware we take it or not. Our lives are full of moments, many that we take for granted, many that we remember as horrible or sad, many that are full of beauty. But they all take us to who and where we are meant to be.
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
A Generation's Shadow
Every generation is defined by an event. From WWII to JFK's assassination to Watergate to the tearing down of the Berlin Wall, there is always a central moment that when we look back in history, we realize that it is part of our generation's story and definition. My generation stands in a shadow, two shadows to be exact. We stand in the shadow of the World Trade Center Towers. Our event, our moment, is 9/11.
I was only seven when the Twin Towers came down and yet I can remember the day with absolute clarity. I remember coming into our classroom at 8:30 (9:30 in NYC) and one of the kids asking about what happened in New York. Our teacher then proceeded to draw two rectangles on the board, the Twin Towers, and say that planes had hit them. The rest of the day, while we worked on projects, teachers watched the TV in horror and besides the basic information we were given, we were been left in the dark. I also remember that I lost a tooth at school that day and going home to tell my mom who didn't respond whole-heartily. I remember that night watching George W. Bush speak on TV. I remember the tears, I remember the heartache. I remember that sense of American unity that the next day carried when I think about when we stood around the flag outside our school and sang God Bless the USA. I remember a lot, much more than those younger than me do.
My generation grew up in the shadows of heroes who risked their lives, those who died, on 9/11. We grew up in the shadows of the wars, both military and political, that followed. But with each anniversary of the day, I began to understand 9/11 and its consequences. I also began to learn about all those who died senselessly on that day. I learned stories that touched me and inspired me about that day, many that will stick with me forever. It scares me to think that their are children growing up today who don't know about 9/11, who will not truly understand it, who will not get the emotion of it, like I don't get that of Pearl Harbor. 9/11 is a day that needs to be taught about in schools through the stories of those there and the stories of those lost. Kids growing up need to know what that kind of terror looks like, but even more they need to know what heroes that can come out of it look like, too.
Yes, my generation grew up in the Twin Towers shadow. But because of this, we do know what heroes and true heroism looks like. We know what it means to be brave. We know what it means to have to fight for one's country. We know what it means to have to honor those lost.
So, on September 11th, don't forget the sacrifices made, the heroes born, and the lessons the countries had to learn because of the day.
I was only seven when the Twin Towers came down and yet I can remember the day with absolute clarity. I remember coming into our classroom at 8:30 (9:30 in NYC) and one of the kids asking about what happened in New York. Our teacher then proceeded to draw two rectangles on the board, the Twin Towers, and say that planes had hit them. The rest of the day, while we worked on projects, teachers watched the TV in horror and besides the basic information we were given, we were been left in the dark. I also remember that I lost a tooth at school that day and going home to tell my mom who didn't respond whole-heartily. I remember that night watching George W. Bush speak on TV. I remember the tears, I remember the heartache. I remember that sense of American unity that the next day carried when I think about when we stood around the flag outside our school and sang God Bless the USA. I remember a lot, much more than those younger than me do.
My generation grew up in the shadows of heroes who risked their lives, those who died, on 9/11. We grew up in the shadows of the wars, both military and political, that followed. But with each anniversary of the day, I began to understand 9/11 and its consequences. I also began to learn about all those who died senselessly on that day. I learned stories that touched me and inspired me about that day, many that will stick with me forever. It scares me to think that their are children growing up today who don't know about 9/11, who will not truly understand it, who will not get the emotion of it, like I don't get that of Pearl Harbor. 9/11 is a day that needs to be taught about in schools through the stories of those there and the stories of those lost. Kids growing up need to know what that kind of terror looks like, but even more they need to know what heroes that can come out of it look like, too.
Yes, my generation grew up in the Twin Towers shadow. But because of this, we do know what heroes and true heroism looks like. We know what it means to be brave. We know what it means to have to fight for one's country. We know what it means to have to honor those lost.
So, on September 11th, don't forget the sacrifices made, the heroes born, and the lessons the countries had to learn because of the day.
Monday, September 10, 2012
A Book and its Impact
When we look back on life, it is usually the
smallest and most unexpected things that majorly shape how we think and
perceive the world. Things like fashion trends, political groups, the
entertainment industry, and the economy tend to have the most outward effect
not only on our culture, but also ourselves. For me, one of the things that influenced me the most was, and still is, books. I believe that they are some of the most forceful entities we put into world, because millions upon millions of people can pick up a book and read what one person has to say. Through them, messages and countless lessons can be taught through one book.
Books for me opened up many new worlds, broke my heart and rebuilt it, and made me see the world in a different light. But most of all they taught me many things that I may never have learned any other way. Through books, you learn people's stories, you learn about people's lives, and you learn lessons with them. Books also served to console me too, when I felt alone and like no one understood me because in books, you can always find a person to relate to.
Growing up, J.K. Rowling’s story of a boy who went from living in a cupboard to becoming a hero impacted me, like many others, in a way I couldn’t fully understand yet. Her vivid words created worlds I had never even dreamed of before and possessed stories of human strength in the face of tragedy which inspired me. Back then when reading those books, I wouldn’t have been able to tell you what I have now learned through those 18 years of experiencing the written word: books and the words in them, although small, have a bigger impact on us than we would like to give them credit for. Books, and the characters in them, stay with you long after you turn the last page. As I said before, they teach and touch you in many ways. There are many memories that I associate with books, like standing in line for the last Harry Potter book, staying up late to finish The Life and Death of Charlie St. Cloud, spending a weekend reading The Hunger Games trilogy, being moved to tears at the end of The Book Thief, and tearing up at the end of Wild. When I see these books, they take me back to these moments, making them something that I will never forget.
My life, my world, has been impacted by books and by the authors who put their pen to paper to get them there. To these big pads of paper and the people who put them there, all I can really say is thank you.
Books for me opened up many new worlds, broke my heart and rebuilt it, and made me see the world in a different light. But most of all they taught me many things that I may never have learned any other way. Through books, you learn people's stories, you learn about people's lives, and you learn lessons with them. Books also served to console me too, when I felt alone and like no one understood me because in books, you can always find a person to relate to.
Growing up, J.K. Rowling’s story of a boy who went from living in a cupboard to becoming a hero impacted me, like many others, in a way I couldn’t fully understand yet. Her vivid words created worlds I had never even dreamed of before and possessed stories of human strength in the face of tragedy which inspired me. Back then when reading those books, I wouldn’t have been able to tell you what I have now learned through those 18 years of experiencing the written word: books and the words in them, although small, have a bigger impact on us than we would like to give them credit for. Books, and the characters in them, stay with you long after you turn the last page. As I said before, they teach and touch you in many ways. There are many memories that I associate with books, like standing in line for the last Harry Potter book, staying up late to finish The Life and Death of Charlie St. Cloud, spending a weekend reading The Hunger Games trilogy, being moved to tears at the end of The Book Thief, and tearing up at the end of Wild. When I see these books, they take me back to these moments, making them something that I will never forget.
My life, my world, has been impacted by books and by the authors who put their pen to paper to get them there. To these big pads of paper and the people who put them there, all I can really say is thank you.
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
Go Home My Lady
Today, my dog of 14, almost 15, years passed away. She was the best dog I have ever met, that the world had ever met. She was filled with so much love and happiness that she made your life better because she touched it. When I think of Sophie, I think of a quote by Ann Patchett when discussing her beloved lost dog. She said, "Sometimes love does not have the most honorable beginnings, and the endings, the endings will break you in half. It's everything in between we live for." I will miss you sweet lady, but I can't thank you enough for the wonderful 14 years you gave me. Rest in peace my lady and enjoy the heaven you deserve. I will always love you.
Sophie Rose
December 1,1997- September 4, 2012
December 1,1997- September 4, 2012
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