The Choices We Make

Over the past year, I have made many choices. I have made choices that I have been proud of; others cause me to cringe when I look back upon them. I have hurt people, both verbally and physically. These are choices that I cannot take back; these are choices that I made knowing fully what I was doing. Despite the fact that I made these choices when angry, when vengeful, when sad, I was still the person who chose to make them. The person I was angry with, the person who I felt vengeful towards, the person who caused me to become sad, did not force me to make these decisions. Was I influenced by them? Yes. Was I forced by them? No. I am responsible for my actions and therefore, no matter what the consequences, I must take responsibility for them. Just as the person who influenced my decisions cannot shift the blame for the acts they have committed, I cannot either. Instead of being defined by these choices, I will choose to grow from them. In the future, I will make better choices because of what occurred when I made those bad choices in the past. I have to accept these acts and fit them into my life story, because in the end, I am a product of my environment and the choices I make within it and in spite of it.

Refilling the Glass

As I have not posted in over three months, I believe that it is time to refill the glass of gratitude.  For me, this past year has been very difficult, sometimes pushing me to what I thought would be the end of my rope. While it has done this to me, it has also taught me some very important lessons, both about life and myself along the way. I have learned to be grateful for the small things, like a relaxing weekend, a person to talk to and a great book. I have also learned to appreciate what I took to be a small thing, but what is really a big thing: the fact that I wake up every day and get to start over. Over this past year, I lost people and almost lost people and these losses (or almost losses) made me appreciate the fact that I still get to live. Every day, I can get up and make a choice to change my life if I need to. More importantly, I can choose to be better than the person I was the day before. I can always improve myself and be a better person. To me, that is something to be very grateful for because, if we do not like who we are, or how we have been acting, we can choose to make a choice and change those things that we do not like about ourselves.

As I previously stated, these difficult times have also taught me things about myself. I have learned that I am much stronger than I thought I was and no matter what is thrown at me, I can conquer it. I have also learned that to be truly happy, I have to learn to accept myself and to not wish to be like someone else. I have learned that what makes me different is what is the greatest part of myself. This is something that is that everyone has to do over their life and is probably one of the toughest lessons to learn; but when one is able to accomplish it, it is all worth it.

So, when you are in the middle of a tough time, remember to evaluate your life and find the little things that make you happy. Remember that you are lucky enough to wake up every morning and that you can always make a change when it is needed. Remember to try to accept yourself for all that you are and that by utilizing your talents, your differences, you will survive anything. Remember that it is our most difficult times that truly reveal who we are and who we can be. Remember to once and awhile, refill your glass of gratitude and rejoice in all that you have and not sulk over what you don’t have.