The Choices We Make

Over the past year, I have made many choices. I have made choices that I have been proud of; others cause me to cringe when I look back upon them. I have hurt people, both verbally and physically. These are choices that I cannot take back; these are choices that I made knowing fully what I was doing. Despite the fact that I made these choices when angry, when vengeful, when sad, I was still the person who chose to make them. The person I was angry with, the person who I felt vengeful towards, the person who caused me to become sad, did not force me to make these decisions. Was I influenced by them? Yes. Was I forced by them? No. I am responsible for my actions and therefore, no matter what the consequences, I must take responsibility for them. Just as the person who influenced my decisions cannot shift the blame for the acts they have committed, I cannot either. Instead of being defined by these choices, I will choose to grow from them. In the future, I will make better choices because of what occurred when I made those bad choices in the past. I have to accept these acts and fit them into my life story, because in the end, I am a product of my environment and the choices I make within it and in spite of it.

Refilling the Glass

As I have not posted in over three months, I believe that it is time to refill the glass of gratitude.  For me, this past year has been very difficult, sometimes pushing me to what I thought would be the end of my rope. While it has done this to me, it has also taught me some very important lessons, both about life and myself along the way. I have learned to be grateful for the small things, like a relaxing weekend, a person to talk to and a great book. I have also learned to appreciate what I took to be a small thing, but what is really a big thing: the fact that I wake up every day and get to start over. Over this past year, I lost people and almost lost people and these losses (or almost losses) made me appreciate the fact that I still get to live. Every day, I can get up and make a choice to change my life if I need to. More importantly, I can choose to be better than the person I was the day before. I can always improve myself and be a better person. To me, that is something to be very grateful for because, if we do not like who we are, or how we have been acting, we can choose to make a choice and change those things that we do not like about ourselves.

As I previously stated, these difficult times have also taught me things about myself. I have learned that I am much stronger than I thought I was and no matter what is thrown at me, I can conquer it. I have also learned that to be truly happy, I have to learn to accept myself and to not wish to be like someone else. I have learned that what makes me different is what is the greatest part of myself. This is something that is that everyone has to do over their life and is probably one of the toughest lessons to learn; but when one is able to accomplish it, it is all worth it.

So, when you are in the middle of a tough time, remember to evaluate your life and find the little things that make you happy. Remember that you are lucky enough to wake up every morning and that you can always make a change when it is needed. Remember to try to accept yourself for all that you are and that by utilizing your talents, your differences, you will survive anything. Remember that it is our most difficult times that truly reveal who we are and who we can be. Remember to once and awhile, refill your glass of gratitude and rejoice in all that you have and not sulk over what you don’t have.

Happy Fourth of July

Today marks the 237th anniversary of the day that Declaration of Independence was brought up to be signed by 56 men. By signing this document, these men risked their lives because they knew that creating a new, free and independent nation was worth that risk. As I think about those men, who were so passionate about their cause that they would die for it, I also wonder about what they would think about what their dream of a nation has become. Unfortunately, I cannot help but think that they may be a little disappointed in it.

In America, our government has become synonymous with a lack of progress. Our Congress is in an a never-ending gridlock that cannot be broken because of an inability to cross party lines. In Congress, a certain c-word is hardly ever thrown around because of its offensiveness; this c-word being compromise. Back in the late 1700s', the only way our nation came to work was because the men who created the Constitution were able to compromise. During the almost four month Constitutional Convention, the men were able to talk through issues that came up, discussing matters like rights and the power at the state government level. Through these discussions, the men were able to come to a compromise resulting in the Bill of Rights and the Constitution getting ratified.

In Washington today, people are seldom willing to compromise which is much in part because of strict party lines that they are not willing to cross. People in government today need to remember what were all taught in elementary school when it came to dealing with problems: talk it out and find common ground. If we cannot adopt this idea in the near future, I fear that nothing will get done.

I have hope that soon, people in power will look around and realize that something needs to change. I have hope that they will see that they cannot always cast their vote in the way that their party wants, or what their lobbyist want, but instead cast their vote in accordance with what they think is right and what they believe that their constituents would want. I love government and I love politics, and I want to believe that someday, our government can get back to the way it was at the beginning (only without slavery and with equal rights for everyone), when people were willing to put aside differences in order to create a better nation, when the government was for the people and by the people.

Thank You

Today in America, we are celebrating Memorial Day, a holiday usually celebrated with parties, cook outs and parades. In the midst of all this celebrating and the happiness of a day off from school or work, we sometimes forget the reason that we are able to be doing what we are doing; the reason why we celebrate Memorial Day in the first place: to remember those serving our country and those who died in the process.

Today, I believe that it is necessary to say thank you to those men and women who work everyday to protect our country. These  brave people do some of the hardest and most dangerous jobs in the world and help to ensure that we are able to do the activities and have the things that we hold most dear. They do all of this for us, they do a job that many of us would not want to do, and rarely do we take the time to reflect on what they do and thank them for it.

So, during the parties and cook outs you attend today, take time to reflect on the gifts that our servicemembers have given us and all that they have given up to keep us safe. Take time to remember them and say thank you.

Be Passionate

Recently, my friend and I were talking about how amazed we were with some of the items in the world. For example, my friend was amazed by the complexity of computers and iPods, while I declared my awe of the International Space Station and how crazy it is to me that there are currently people up in it. What was at the root of this amazement was the fact that all of these items were made by people. I realize that most things in the world are created by the human race, but still, on occasion, I pause and think about how cool it is that people not only have the capabilities to make these items, but also the passion that had to go into creating them.

To me, passion is one of the most amazing qualities that people can have. People who are passionate about what they do touch people lives and many times make those lives better. Passion moves the human race forward and enriches life. For example, without Gutenberg's passion for creating a printing press, we may not have the widespread availability of books that we have now. Without the passion to have a better life, all revolutions would have not have taken place. Without passion for one's country, we would not have people who willingly defend our country. Without the passion for exploration, I may not be living in the United States right now or there may not be a satellite currently orbiting the Earth. Without passion, women and other minority groups may not be able to vote. Without passion, the mortality rates for cancer may be much higher and we may not have vaccines for small pox or polio. I think it is easy to say, that without passion, the world would be a much worse place.

Because being passionate does so much good, I think that it especially important that everyone has one, be it a big one or a small one. While we know that passion can be misguided from time to time (history is full of stories like this), as long as your passion doesn't hurt anyone, then your okay. In the end, not only does passion do good for others, it does good for yourself too. Following your passion makes you happy. For example, in English class one day, we watched a documentary on a ventriloquist who was questioning staying with the career she had, because she didn't know if she was still passionate about it anymore. After a trip to the US for a ventriloquist convention, she realized that she still was passionate about ventriloquism, that it made her so happy, and that she couldn't imagine her life without it. After we finished watching that documentary, the professor told us that college can be a confusing time, because it seems that you have to figure out what you want to do with the rest of your life quickly and that can be difficult. But, he said, if you can find something that makes you passionate, and you do that with your life, then you can never go wrong.

Although I am not sure what I am passionate about at this moment, I hope that someday in the near future, I will be sure of it and that I will wake up one morning and I’ll just know what I am supposed to do with my life, be it writing or politics or something totally different. Until then, I will continue to search for what I am passionate about, because a life without some kind of passion is not completely lived. If you haven't found your passion yet, I hope that you search for it too. I also hope that you too wake up one morning and just know what you are supposed to do with your life, and because of that, you feel that your life is a little more whole.

The Benefits and Universality of Suffering

In life, we all have been confronted by situations that lead us to wonder "Why me? What did I do to deserve this? Why do I have to suffer?" Sometimes this questioning is just the beginning of a downward spiral that can lead to more questions, and comparisons between ourselves and others. I can remember situations in which I will think about people who have done questionable things and then I wonder why these things happened to me and not to them. As I have realized, this is never a good idea because we gain nothing by examining the deeds of others and trying to make ourselves look better in comparison to them. This is in part because we do not know what is going on in the other person's life. We do not know what they have had to deal with or are currently dealing with. So, what would judging them on only a surface view do? Nothing. It doesn't make us feel better and it doesn't make our problems go away.

The only thing we can ever really do is is pick us ourselves up and keep going. Suffering is a part of life, a part that we all have to do with. Even if it doesn't seem like it hits everyone, suffering is an equal-opportunity offender. It doesn't spare the rich, the poor, the famous, or the anonymous. It hits all of us, even if it seems to hit others with bigger waves than others at times. Even though I would like to believe that it all evens out in the end, I also have to be realistic in the fact that life isn't fair. Some people have to deal with more than others, but in the end, those people are stronger for it.

There is a great quote by  Kahlil Gibran that says, "Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.”  I believe this to very much be true. The more tested you are in your life, the more things you go through, make you an even stronger person because when the next trouble comes along, even if it is the biggest that you have ever faced, you will be able to get through it because you have gotten through bad things before. I see suffering like exercise. When you exercise, your muscles tear and even though you at first are sore from it, in the end, you are stronger when your muscles finally heal.

I also look at it this way. We all love to be told stories and we especially love those where the character, who has been pushed down and beaten up so many times, gets up at the end and wins. We root for these characters and we relate to them because we have all been there. The characters who give up on the other hand are not our favorites, but instead those who we look with pity on. My point is that in the story of your life, would you rather be the one who just gives up, or would you like to be the one who despite all the pain and hardship keeps getting up and wins? To me, I would rather be the one who keeps getting up, because that is someone I can be proud of.